Viewing profile - Jeffrey Hotchkins


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Ministry of Magic
Jeffrey Hotchkins
Head of the BUMM
15 May 1957
He looked like an asshole then he joined the ministry. The end.

Jeffrey Hotchkins was an asshole. He was born an asshole, to two asshole parents, so he really didn't have a chance to be anything but the asshole who pulled little girls' pigtails and tripped the kids in class. Although as he got older, violence wasn't his preferred method of asshole-ery; words were. And that's why he never even considered joining the Death Eaters. He was an asshole, but he wasn't evil and he didn't give a rats ass about blood status. Not because he was above such things, but because he held nearly ever person he met with the same level of disdain and contempt. He was an equal opportunity asshole.

It was the same through school, although he eventually learned the merits of not showing his contempt outwardly. Magic came fairly easy to Jeffrey, and the main thing he learned during his time at Hogwarts was how to humor people, to temper his disdain. By the time he graduated, he was able to carry on entire conversations with people without insulting them. At least... not overtly. Everything he said held an undercurrent of mocking, like he was sharing a joke with the person, only they weren't in on it. Hey, he had to amuse himself somehow if he was going to have to deal with all these idiots.

His career at the Ministry would never be an illustrious one, since those with any sense figured out he was an asshole, even if he never did anything specifically wrong. He showed up on time, met his deadlines, didn't take sides in any of the unpleasantness with Voldemort. Either time. He was pure blood, didn't help mudbloods or have a weakness for muggle things, and so the Death Eaters - major assholes themselves, kind of left him alone. Or maybe it was that they had bigger things to deal with. Had the war gone on longer, he probably would've pissed one of them off enough to get himself killed.

He supposed he should thank Harry Potter for that, but he won't. He hated that kid. And his little friends.

After the war, he volunteered for the Bureau for Upkeeping Ministry Morale. The incongruous job struck him as funny. Or maybe it just struck him as easy. Or maybe the war really had made him see the error of his asshole-ish ways and he really did want to turn over that new leaf. Whatever the reason, he tossed his name into the (very small) list of candidates with an impassioned letter about how the wizarding world finally had a chance at peace and even happiness, and how he wanted to be a part of it. It was a good letter. Well written and moving, very nearly void of sarcasm.

He's been better since being promoted. And asshole or not, he's been working to meet the expectations set out for the BUMM committee.

If only he could get that damn name changed.

Magical Status Form

Magical Status: ANIMAGUS

Animagus Form & Distinguishing Marks: Zebra that looks like an asshole.


Hawthorn, 11 3/4", Dragon heartstring

Educational History

Hogwarts, Ravenclaw, 1968 -1975

Face Claim

Dominic West

Additional Notes



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