Viewing profile - Bertrand Wetmore


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Ministry of Magic
Bertrand Wetmore
Magical Law Enforcement
Azkaban Guard
13 Apr 1976
PLAYER | twufoo
Bertrand was born nearly two hours after his brother Cecil. His father joked that when the healers finally took little Bertie out by C-section, he had left claw marks inside his mother's womb. Sure enough, he was a momma's boy through and through, shyer and more sensitive than his older brother. Generally speaking, he was a happy kid, a big eater, and his tendency to be more sedentary than Cecil meant that people never had a problem telling them apart--Bert was the chubby one.

He was sensitive about it, of course. But while Bert lacked in raw athleticism, he still had a sense of adventure. Though he struggled with books, he always listened in to the adventure and mystery programs on the wireless radio, letting his imagination run wild. On any camping trip, Bert would play the perfect boy scout, making sure everything was in order, the fire built properly, the tent pitched, and the food divided up and ready to go.

In addition to his twin, Cecil, he grew up with two other siblings. Mildred, their older sister, often liked to pit the two of them against one another. Eugene, their younger brother, tended to tag along with the rest of them, desperate to prove himself to his older siblings.

Throughout their childhood, their mom was always around, hovering over them. Like a helicopter. As they grew older, their dad grew more and more distant and was often nowhere to be found. Before Bert started Hogwarts, his parents split up, and his dad ran off with a woman who looked like a younger, slimmer version of their mom.

In school, his sense of adventure led him to be sorted into Gryffindor with his brother. Though he tried hard and was a teacher's pet in basically every class he was in, he wasn't a great student, perhaps average at best. He was absolutely terrible at tests, and it wasn't until several years of school that he was diagnosed with dyslexia. Afterwards, he got a giant pair of embarrassing coke bottle glasses to use for reading, which significantly improved his grades.

When Bert was 15, he finally hit a growth spurt and all his extra weight began to redistribute and thin out. With some training (read: butt whooping) from Cecil, much of that fat seemed to turn directly into muscle. Muscle with an extra layer of padding, but muscle nonetheless. Next to Cecil, he still looked like the outer shell of a Russian nesting doll, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before.

After graduating, Bert joined the Ministry as a lawyer with grand dreams of how he'd use his position to help dispense justice for the wicked and defend the wrongly accused. Right out of the gate, he pushed for more comprehensive justice reform and measures to reduce discrimination between blood types, which earned him a reputation of being annoying and naive.

When the Muggleborn Commission rolled around, Bert did everything he could to try to legally slow the process down, filing appeal after appeal. After months of butting his head against the system, he was arrested for sedition and sent to Azkaban. Meanwhile, his little brother Eugene had joined the Ministry as an auror/snatcher and was getting into some dark shit.

Bert was only in prison for a few months, but it was a life changing experience for him. After the war, Eugene went on the run, and Bert was freed. He spent most of his time dealing with the mountain of paperwork necessary to pardon the records of the wrongfully imprisoned, return their seized possessions, and prosecute some of the worst Snatchers.

However, it always felt like too little too late, like he was only ever cleaning up someone's mess after the fact rather than working proactively. So after the jailbreak, when the Ministry was most in need of more guards, he applied for a job at the prison to help out.


Apple, 9 1/4", Phoenix feather

Educational History

Hogwarts, Gryffindor, 1987-1994

Face Claim

Channing Tatum

Additional Notes

Bert is great at memorizing the things that he hears and has a habit of reading out loud for that reason. He has a knack for picking up weird, non-human languages and has been able to successfully communicate (roughly) with merpeople, ghouls, trolls, and animals seem to love him for some reason.



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