Viewing profile - Conrad Verner


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Ministry of Magic
Conrad Verner
Magical Maintenance and Support
31 Jul 1980
PLAYER | twufoo
Conrad grew up a middle child in a middle class family. He has always been a loser--too dumb to be a true nerd and too weak to be a jock. To make up for his wild inadequacies, he daydreams and lives a vibrant, fulfilling fantasy life (and he’s the SHIT in his online life). He is accident prone and easily confused. He’s an aspiring musician, but unfortunately he sucks balls at it.

Ever since Conrad was a wee little boy, he was enamored with the stories of the The Boy Who Lived. He was even more excited to find out they shared the same birthday and went to the same school and ended up in the same house!

During school, Conrad tried over and over to befriend Harry Potter, but somehow always got nudged out of the scene, usually by the marginally more cool Neville Longbottom, who also shared the same birthday as him and Harry. That was okay though (not okay). He could dream from afar.

And dream he did.

In fact, Conrad's dreams were so prolific that he often found himself idly drawing pictures of Harry Potter in class with shiny, bouncy hair, washboard abs, and sparkly anime eyes, lots of little hearts surrounding him. But Conrad was not a selfish or possessive person, and as soon as he noticed the way that Harry and Draco looked at each other, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife, he took to drawing and writing Drarry slash. He even founded an online slash community geared at it, which has become HUGE.

Conrad tried to join DA, but he ate a whole turkey before the first meeting and accidentally passed out on his way there. Every subsequent time he tried to join DA was similarly thwarted.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Conrad was excited for his time to ~~shine~~. Unfortunately, while Neville was turning around nearby him, he accidentally hit Conrad's jetpack, which made it malfunction and sent him hurtling off into the sky. Thankfully, Conrad's fall was broken by a Death Eater who was about to cast some horrible maiming spell on The Indian Twins that No One Cared About, thus saving their lives and avoiding some laughable Boba Fett-like fate.

After the Battle, Conrad tried over and over to become an Auror like Harry but he miserably failed every test he tried. After that, he tried to become a Portkey person like Draco, but also wasn't good enough. After that, he applied for a position as a janitor but was also refused. Then he applied to every unpaid internship in the Ministry that he could find, but accidentally sent in one of his more tawdry Drarry fics instead of his resume, so that fell through as well.

One fateful weekend between job applications, Conrad was enjoying a day of LARPing by running around the mall, talking to people who looked like named NPCs, and completing random quests for them. They were small, seemingly pointless tasks like "go deliver this letter item to the person who's only like 100 feet away from me" and "go to this closet and kill the rats in it for minxor XP," but through some unpredictable web of relationships, Conrad eventually got high enough up the quest chain that he completed a quest to become part of mall security, and he was hired as a rent-a-cop.

Conrad was overjoyed. And sure, it wasn't as cool as working in the Ministry where all the Drarry action was, but he was close by. And he could still try to peek in now and then to get some Drarry action. >.>


Laurel, 14 1/4", unicorn hair

Educational History

Hogwarts, Gryffindor, 1991-1998

Face Claim

Tom Lenk

Additional Notes



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