Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

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Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Postby Rose Fillion » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:04 pm

Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Rose Fillion, as we all well know, loves sex. She is very open about porn and smut; so much, in fact, that she writes reviews on a slight tabooed subject that is now getting some light. Monster Smut. Feeling that this smut deserves it’s much needed attention, Rose adapted the name “Rosy Palm” for her online blog “Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews”.

If you wish to request a book to read, pm me (Claira, pm me!!) with your character's name and which book they'd like to request and I will do my best to acquire said book and read it.


The Archive

Blog Entry #001: Cum for Bigfoot, Book 1

Blog Entry #002: Ridden by the Griffin Prince

Blog Entry #003: Hunted by the Stag King
Last edited by Claira on Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:02 pm, edited 4 times in total.
User avatar
Ministry of Magic
Magical Law Enforcement
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BIRTHDAY
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POSTS
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PLAYER | Claira

Re: Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Postby Rose Fillion » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:06 pm

Blog Entry #001: Cum for Bigfoot – Book 1


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When Virginia Wade was writing one of her more noticeable series, Cum for Bigfoot, one may have thought that this woman gave zero fucks about the execution of these novels.

The introductory novel in the series, Book 1, tells a cliché story of three young girls out hiking with a D.I.L.F., his son and his son’s friends. When they had expected this adventure to be fun and promiscuous, they were met with the animalistic fate of Bigfoot’s strikingly giant pale schlong and his mother, the worst sex coach of them all.

And no, none of them died.

This smut novel is very mediocre at best. The best way to describe the feel of this entire book is that’s a hybrid between a bad b-rated horror flick and a cheesy homemade porno. You have three horny teenaged girls who managed to sneak alcohol into camp, the main character who is desperate to get laid by her crush, but instead sleeps with his dad and have the WORST dirty talk imaginable. The next day, Daddy Doug (a.k.a. the D.I.L.F. – which by the way, Doug is a terrible sexy name – imagine shouting that in orgasmic ecstasy) brushes off our protagonist and, shocker, tells her that she can’t tell anybody of their one night stand. Later that night, the three girls get promptly knocked out and wake up in a crude cell in Bigfoot’s sex dungeon. And their only way out, is screwing Bigfoot senseless and getting past his mother.

The things you have to look out for is the excessive use of the words “cock”, “cock”, and “cock”. It seems that the author didn’t have an extension on her vocabulary beyond “cock”. But I have to give her props; at one point instead of using “pussy” she used “snatch”.

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The dialogue? Horrible. Again, imagine the shit the teenagers say in horrible horror films; it’s in this book! For example:

“Shelly came up behind me. “Mr. Vandekamp is smoking hot. His ass looks fabulous in those shorts.”
Leslie snorted. “You ho.”
“I’m ignoring that. All the guys look hot.”
I had to agree. “It’s gonna be a hardship having to spend a week with ‘em. I’m willing to suffer through it, though.”
“You totally lust after, Chris, Porsche. I know you do. Maybe you’ll hook-up?”
“We can only hope.”


The beginnings of a horror movie; a terrible, hilarious horror movie. And that’s not all folks. Here is an excerpt of the atrocious dirty talk.

“Oh, Mr. Vandekamp.”
“Doug.”
“Oh, Doug.”
He grasped my dress and pulled it down, revealing my panties. “Take it off. Take it all off.”
His shorts had dropped, exposing his boxers. The top portion of his cock jutted out through the material. I was naked before him, highly aroused and slightly intoxicated. I couldn’t wait to get that yummy looking cock in me.


Yummy looking cock? What is this, sex or a bachelorette’s party with cock pops? And it doesn’t end there.

“Are you a virgin?”
“No.”
“Thank God.” He stepped out of his boxers and sat on the bed. “Suck me, beautiful.” I knelt before him and took him, working the end aggressively. “That’s so nice, honey.”


And it still doesn’t end there, guys. This goes on for a bit longer and progressively gets cheesier by the minute. The writing style is that of a horny teenager who was pouring all their fantasies into this book. Although I can't really knock that because the point of view IS in the view of a horny teenager. So, points to you Virginia Wade - you know how to write like one.

Overall, this book is great if you’re looking for a good laugh. The smut is there, just not the greatest. There is some serious “wtf” moments such as Bigfoot’s mother with the lube and vibrator that’ll bring some mixed emotions like disgust, disbelief, and maybe some sort of amusement (because seriously, wtf?). If you’re still interested in reading this book, there are free copies and I’ll provide them to you in the link down below. This was a horrendously amazing read and if you do read it, read it to waste time. My name is Rosy Palm and this is my first of many Monster Smut reviews.

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Interested in a copy of Cum for Bigfoot Book 1? Follow this link!

Want to leave a comment? Leave one on my Witchster! ---------> link!
Last edited by Claira on Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ministry of Magic
Magical Law Enforcement
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BIRTHDAY
9/10/1975
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MAGIC STATUS
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POSTS
612
PLAYER | Claira

Re: Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Postby Rose Fillion » Sat Apr 09, 2016 6:26 pm

Blog Entry #002: Ridden by the Griffin Prince



Image



After reading all of Tallia Ravejoy’s smutty short stories, I can’t help but admire this woman’s imagination; it’s fucking sexy as hell with a side of porny humor. In these next few posts, you’ll be seeing nothing but the products of her imagination, starting with the first short novel Ridden by the Griffin Prince.

Now if you guys are looking for some plot – there is no plot. The beginning lasts about a few pages and then gets right to the monster fucking. You are introduced to the main character, her friend, and the scenario: college students hiking through the Grecian wilderness and the main character’s bestie wants to screw the “Aztec God” of the group – and succeeds!-. This leaves the main character, Emily, hot and horny and so to cool down she heads off on a quick walk.

Then she meets the Griffin Prince; who proceeds to kidnapping her and screwing her brains out. All because of a song.

The lesson of this story: Don’t approach strange men singing beautifully in the forest.

You gonna get porked by chicken dick.

The sex in this book was amazing, this woman knows how to write some smut. She utilizes the English vocabulary very well and you’re not reading “cock” or “dick” in every other sentence. And not only that, but you could picture someone being fucked by a griffin person, sure – but this woman goes beyond the call of duty. She details the smut, like:

His tongue, done with my purity, went back to digging. It wiggled and swarmed inside, licking every fraction of my sweet cave. I moaned, and then gasped as his thumb rubbed my clit. The bliss of it stunned my mind, overwhelming my sanity. I moaned louder, panting and shivering at him lapping at my walls.


And:

His balls slapped against my clit, making smacking sounds. I screamed and moaned as he ravaged me, bending my body to his will. His violent thrusting jiggled my ass and tossed my head and hair back and forth. I could hardly breath as his plowing overwhelmed me. My pussy burned with pleasure and inflamed my core. The squishing slaps and thumping smacks of him fucking my vagina made me flex my walls, clenching around him for more pleasure.


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Despite its glorious detailed monster sex, there is a few discrepancies – the ‘wtf’ moments if you will. Now they’re not SUPER terrible, but they are indeed hilarious. Like:

How could he still want to fuck? He’d just unloaded the Hoover Dam on my ass, and still he wanted more?!


The Griffin-man, impatient, lowered me down with a hand atop my head. I got to my knees.
Putting my face up to it, I realized just how truly gigantic it was. I opened up for him.
He smelled of pussy and tasted… like chicken.


Image


Now there’s not a whole lot of them, but they certainly treasures. All in all the detailed smut, regardless if you’re into monster smut or not, is great and for the most part can get you off. It’s not cheesy like most and it’s right to the point – fucking. So much fucking. For the price of this short novel, it’s worth the two sickles – especially if you’re into monster smut, this needs to be a part of your collection!

Rosy Palm, signing off!

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Interested in a copy of Ridden by the Griffin Prince? Follow this link!

Want to leave a comment? Leave one on my Witchster -------> link!
Last edited by Claira on Fri Sep 08, 2017 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ministry of Magic
Magical Law Enforcement
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AGE
29
BIRTHDAY
9/10/1975
BLOOD STATUS
Halfblood
MAGIC STATUS
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POSTS
612
PLAYER | Claira

Re: Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Postby Rose Fillion » Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:00 pm

Blog Entry #003: Hunted by the Stag King


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If you have ever wondered what it’d be like to fuck someone who had recently drunk a polyjuice potion with a hair from a deer, then you might want to check out Tallia Ravejoy’s Hunted by the Stag King. Julia, the protagonist of the story goes out on a hunting trip with her boyfriend, Mark and shoots herself a doe. But not just any doe, the wife of the Stag King; and after screwing her boyfriend while wearing the formerly deceased doe’s swaggy jewelry they are capture by deer furries and Mark is Sparta-kicked into a funeral pyre. Boyfriendless and fearing for her life, Julia is chased down in a game of cat and mouse with the Stag King and when she gets caught, you guessed it, she gets boned by the deer guy.

And if you think this is like some centaur smut shit, you better push those crazy Firenze fantasies aside. These deer people have the body of models, but the heads and hooves of a deer – except for their hands; they have people hands and furry/fuzzy bodies. So remember that deer pelt you rubbed your hands on as a kid when you visited your uncle’s hunting cabin?

Imagine your naked body rubbing all over that.

Or this:

Image

[imagine that going down on you.]


As I said before in the previous blog entry about Ravejoy’s erotica, she still uses a more expansive penis and vagina vocabulary than most smut novelists do. But in this novel she uses two other smutty terms for vag that I absolutely love and it’s “honeypot” and “cock tool”. They are amazing and I may have to use them for future references [perhaps picking some guys up at the bar?]. I also love how she described Mark’s dick while the pair were down to fuck.

“His rod was huge. Veins pulsed along it to the spongy, angry head. Pre-cum glistened, as if it were drooling for my pink pussy’s lips.”


The angriest of peens. [Of course, I would be too if my fate was going to be Sparta-kicked into a funeral pyre by deer furries.]

As far as sex goes in this short novella, you have sex between Julia and Mark right in the beginning; I’m talking about the second page where he jams his hand down her pants and then you have sex between Julia and the Stag King towards the end. Both where pretty outrageous, the dirty talk still very typical pornstar like. You had the good, arousing moments:

“He pushed himself harder into me. My toes curled and my fingers clawed at the tree bark. I was overwhelmed from head to toe, my mind blank and my body lost in a sea of pleasure storming over every cell of my being.”

“The beast man flicked my nipple back and forth with interspersed pinching. My chest electrified to the sensation, coursing down to my clit.”

“I screamed and moaned in bliss to his pumping. His fur glistened with sweat as he arched away from me, bending and thrusting his hips as far as possible in me.”


And then you have this:

“His face was my cunt puppet, and I was the puppeteer.”

“You like that you little slut? You like my big cock fucking your cunt? You want my cum? You want my hot load all over your slutty face?” Mark said. His thrusting was quickening its pace, the frantic piercing of his cock plunging deeper into my cave.
“I want your cum. I want your hot load on my face. I wanna drink all it all,” I gasped, my voice warbling and breaking to his thundering jackhammering. (and yes, that is a grammar error that you see.)”

“My pretty little pussy was being ravaged raw, all red and slick with juice and foam. I rubbed my clit furiously as he jacked off inside me.”


Image


If this is the stuff you live for, don’t worry it’s throughout the entire book. It’s both hilarious and atrocious and you’re either going to love it or hate it. Or you might just be “eh” about it like a one night stand. The sex, whether it was with Mark or the Stag King was good, but nothing overly spectacular unless they opened their mouths to say something horrendous. Although I would definitely try that "on the jungle gym 69" move – this one:

“I was dangling from his horns all by myself now. It really was like a jungle gym where you hang upside down on the pull-up bar, only this time a giant monster dick was pressing against the side of my face.
The King let out a slow, mellow breath and relaxed, enjoying the site of my naked body handing from him like a Christmas ornament.
I gulped, and instantly knew what sexual act he wanted to do. He wanted to “69” me while I hung in mid air.”


Because, hey, you only live once and you might as well right?

This short novella, much like her one I reviewed in the previous blog, is very straight to the fucking and there is a lot of it. It’s a porn clip only in a book! If you’re interested into adding this to your collection it’s worth only a couple of sickles at the bookstore. It's an interesting read if you have the time and it's worth the couple good laughs. This is Rosy Palm and I look forward to seeing you guys soon!

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Interested in a copy of Hunted by the Stag King? Follow this link!

Want to leave a comment? Leave one on my Witchster -------> link!
User avatar
Ministry of Magic
Magical Law Enforcement
Hitwizard Trainee
AGE
29
BIRTHDAY
9/10/1975
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Halfblood
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HEIGHT
5'7"
POSTS
612
PLAYER | Claira

Re: Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews

Postby Rose Fillion » Sun Sep 10, 2017 11:34 am

Blog Entry #004: Hooked by the Merman


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Hey guys, welcome back to another installment of Rosy Palm and her Monster Smut Reviews! Sorry about the unwarranted hiatus, but when life gets you by the tits sometimes you have to take a break. But as I previously promised, I did finish off the remaining installment of Tallia Ravejoy’s monster smut collection and, DAMN, you guys are in for a real treat.

Hooked by the Merman is one of the final pieces in Tallia Ravejoy’s archive, and while it deals in the same porn filled humor as the others, it has some different elementary pieces than the other two. It tells the story of Adeline, a woman who decides that taking a cruise is the best idea for a vacation; while keeping in mind that her job is working on commercial fishing boats. At what seems to be the height of her vacation, she is facing a massive wave with a mysterious figure hiding in the midst of it all and blacks out when she approached. She comes to in a shipwrecked Spanish Galleon on a seemingly desert island, alone and afraid; wanders off into the wilderness, finds herself in a precarious gangbang situation before being rescued and falling in love with the merman of her dreams.

All in 57 pages.

In the first to novellas, Tallia never really explored the romantic sides of her monsters. In fact, in Griffin Prince he decidedly loves the female protagonist after their prompt sexual encounter and the Stag King only takes Julia as his bride because if the Griffin Prince can do it, so can he. In this book, the only reason Eris, our merman, takes Adeline from the safety of the cruise liner is because she’s the second half to his light – his soulmate. He convinces her of this fact that they were meant to be, and the redhead was all for that.

But this is all for naught, as the unbridled love of these two characters were easily outweighed by the amount of screwing in this book.

Another thing to note, is like the other two books, it gets right into fucking. Adeline gets finger blasted on a dancefloor in a crowd of people before leading the winner of a fish dinner out onto the deck where she proceeds to do the dirty with our fellow named Jordan. And one of the greatest wtf moments happen when she goes down on him and blows him.

“Jordan then did something that completely took me by surprise.

Lightning quick, Jordan placed a hand behind my head, then gave it three hard knocks with his other. Like hammering a nail into a board, his dick forced its entire length into me. I squealed as my nose buried itself in his pubic hair.

His balls hit my chin.”


He hammered his dick down her throat.

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But that’s not all folks, there’s more from where that came from. It seems with the more fucking in this book had to offer, the less decent smut we have. That or maybe Adeline has the worst dirty talk that I’ve read in comparison of the three. Let’s just say it rivals Virginia Wade’s protagonist of the Cum for Bigfoot series. It’s just not that good.

“You want me to suck your balls?” The men nodded. I licked my lips. “Then put them in my slutty mouth.”

“FUCK YES! HARDER! CUM IN MY ASS! CUM IN MY DIRTY LITTLE ASS!”


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The good smut isn’t really there, just a lot of laughable moments like:

“I couldn’t believe I was in a gangbang, swamped with dicks from monster-men…

The image of my quivering body being massaged and rubbed down by a blanket of dicks – touching every inch of my person, overwhelmed me. I was a woman completely submerged in a sea of manhood – the center of a sexual whirlpool.”


“All four of their balls stuffed my mouth now.

My mind spun with the thought of the power I had over them. I had these beings’ entire future progeny inside my mouth. Their sperm-makers were completely mine; a meal served just for me.

I had the control.

I was the sexual beast.”


“He was in a fetal position, clutching his stomach, trembling.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” My heart skipped a beat in fear. Had my cum poisoned him!? I dove to him and held his head in my arms.”


And my personal favorite:

“I giggled and stroked his drenched cock slowly, teasing it. I tilted my head back so that I could open my mouth and speak without spilling any of his sperm.

“You wonno see me swallow?” I said unable to pronounce my words correctly because of the lake I was balancing.

Eris nodded nodded eagerly, a boy about to get a present. It was cute. It made me want to please him, to fulfill his wildest expectations.

I smacked my lips, the cum making bubbles. I squeezed his cock tighter. Eris got on his knees so he could look down at me and get a better view.

I opened my mouth wide and stuck my tongue through the white and sloshed it around. His cock twitched in my hand, already getting harder.

I smiled and gargled his seed.”


Tallia Ravejoy’s books are certainly treasures as I come to find and whereas this one tries to make up for lost romance, it easily surpasses her other two with humorous view of fuck-thirsty Adeline. If you were looking for something to get off to, this is definitely not the book you’re looking for. But to have a good laugh, it might be worth the couple of sickles – especially if they’re burning a hole in your coin purse.

It was a pleasure to get back to writing for you guys, and I look forward to doing it some more! Rosy Palm signing off!

Image


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Interested in a copy of Hooked by the Merman? Follow this link!

Want to leave a comment? Leave one on my Witchster -------> link!
User avatar
Ministry of Magic
Magical Law Enforcement
Hitwizard Trainee
AGE
29
BIRTHDAY
9/10/1975
BLOOD STATUS
Halfblood
MAGIC STATUS
n/a
HEIGHT
5'7"
POSTS
612
PLAYER | Claira


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